What My Daughter’s Wedding Taught Me About Presence and Authenticity

This weekend, my daughter married the love of her life.

As I reflect on the day, I am struck by the gift of presence — the ability to be not only physically there, but emotionally and spiritually grounded in the moment. For much of my life, presence often escaped me. My mind was tangled in regrets of the past or anxieties about the future. But on this day, I was fully here. And that presence allowed me to receive the depth of joy, gratitude, and love that surrounded us.

Presence is not perfection. It is the pause that steadies us when emotions threaten to sweep us away. For me, that pause came during the father–daughter dance. As I held Paige in my arms and looked into her eyes, memories rushed in — everything from scraped knees to senior recitals, from watching her play softball to running half–marathons with her.

In that swirl of emotion, I realized I didn’t need to be anything other than authentic. And authenticity, for me, has meant learning to be honest about who I am — and who I am not. It has meant laying down the masks I wore for so many years, masks of perfection and performance, and instead choosing the vulnerability of being seen as my less–than–perfect self. That kind of honesty has become one of the greatest gifts of my recovery — and on this day, it allowed me to show up fully as a father, without pretense, and with my whole heart.

I was reminded, too, of our interconnectedness. In Buddhist teaching, we are taught that nothing exists in isolation — each of us is because of countless causes and conditions. Thich Nhat Hanh often described it as interbeing: the truth that my joy is bound up with yours, my daughter’s new beginning tied to generations before and those yet to come. A wedding is never only two people coming together. It is the weaving of families, friends, and community — each thread bringing its own color and strength. The love, kindness, and care shared that day formed a tapestry larger than any one of us.

To Paige and Jimmy — may you always find joy in being present with each other. To all who celebrated with us — thank you for showing me, once again, how powerful it is when we show up fully and authentically for one another.

This is the gift of presence. And this weekend, it was mine to both give and receive.