What a Zen symbol taught me about recovery, imperfection, and living each day fully
The Enso is a sacred symbol in Zen Buddhism, often drawn in one continuous brushstroke. It represents enlightenment, strength, elegance, the universe, and — perhaps most importantly — the beauty of imperfection.
The Enso circle is imperfect and open. At first glance, it looks unfinished — but that’s the point. It is a practice rather than a product, a reminder that wholeness is found not in perfection, but in presence.
For me, that’s both recovery and life.
Not a Straight Line
My journey has not been a straight line from my last drink to today. It’s been full of ups and downs, with progress and relapse. Looking back, every setback in my recovery has started with the same three words: I got this! (my recovery is now complete! I know everything, and I have everything that I need.)
For years I chased perfection, driven by ego and the need to prove I could finally get it right. I thought my circle needed to be perfect and complete, with no flaws. But the harder I tried to master it, the more I fell.
What I’ve learned is this: life isn’t about being flawless. It’s about beginning again — daily. It’s about honesty, vulnerability, and staying open to change and evolution. It’s about showing up each day with my imperfect self.
The shift in my view — about recovery, and frankly about life itself — has come by way of the Buddhist principles and practices I now embrace. They remind me that imperfection is part of the path, and presence is the real gift.
Simplicity in the Open Circle
The Enso reminds me that life is not about control, complexity, or having all the answers. Its message is so meaningful to me that three years ago I had it tattooed on the inside of my right arm. Not as a display for others, but as a reminder to myself. When I look down, I am reminded of simplicity and the beauty that can be found in imperfection.
That same simplicity shows up in one of the most important practices I’ve found: meditation. Many of the meditations I use focus on the breath — the simplest rhythm of life. Left to my own thinking, I can find myself with one foot in the future, anxious and worried, and one foot in the past, tangled in guilt and regret. But when I return to the breath — the brushstroke of inhaling and exhaling — I find myself back in the present moment.
And the present moment is where I truly live, and where I discover the gift of peace.
The Gift of the Practice
“One day at a time” isn’t just a slogan from recovery circles — it’s a way of living. It allows me to experience each day fully, at peace with myself and the world around me. When I let go of regret and fear, I return to presence. That’s enough.
The circle is never closed, and that’s the gift. Life is not about finishing the circle. It’s about showing up to draw it again tomorrow — with openness and presence.
Some people like to read, others like to watch. If video is more your style, I’ve shared this reflection on YouTube as well:
