From Hiding to Here: How Presence Became My Practice
By Don Phelps
For most of my life, I lived in two places:
- One foot in the past — replaying shame, regret, and failure.
- And one foot in the future — consumed by fear, worry, and what-ifs.
I was everywhere… except here.
Even during the years I served as a pastor, I was often just performing. Smiling on the outside. Preaching hope to others while falling apart inside. I had mastered the art of hiding in plain sight — and I called it “strength.”
But eventually, the strain of performing broke me. And in that breaking, something unexpected emerged:
Presence.
At first, presence came quietly — in recovery meetings, moments of meditation, or simply breathing through a craving without reaching for escape. I began to notice the world again: the sound of my dog’s paws on the floor, the feel of my breath in my chest, the light through the kitchen window.
Mindfulness taught me something religion hadn’t:
I don’t have to be anywhere other than here.
I don’t have to be anyone other than me.
And I don’t have to fix the whole world to be worthy of peace.
Today, presence is my daily practice. Not perfection — just presence.
And in that presence, I’ve found the clarity to show up with honesty, humility, and heart.
Recovery isn’t just about stopping a behavior. It’s about starting a new way of being — one rooted in this moment, in this breath, in this choice.
Right here.
Right now.
That’s where freedom lives.
To Reflect:
Where are your feet today?
Share if presence has been part of your healing. Tag someone learning to live in the now.
This moment is enough — and so are you.
