Prefer to watch instead of read? Scroll to the bottom for the video version of this reflection.
I used to think a good life was about having the right answers. Today, I’m learning it’s more about asking the right questions—and staying open to where they lead.
My years in Christian ministry and in a long-standing recovery program were complicated. Outwardly, I proclaimed what I was expected to believe. Inwardly, I carried doubts I didn’t yet know how to name. For a long time I couldn’t even recognize the dissonance, and once I finally did, I still had to walk through the hard work of giving myself permission to question without being overwhelmed by guilt.
A turning point came when I joined my son for Season 3 of his podcast, Finding My Religion. Across six episodes, he asked me challenging, thought-provoking questions. I already knew where I stood today, but those conversations gave me something I hadn’t had before: space to step back, trace the journey, and see how I got here. It was open, vulnerable, sometimes uncomfortable—and deeply clarifying.
What I see now is a path that has shifted. I honor my past without denying the struggle in it. And I stand today grounded—not in Christian practice, but in Buddhist principles that give me practical ways to live with presence, steadiness, and compassion.
These principles aren’t about a distant future or getting everything “right.” They’re about responding instead of reacting, seeing life as it is rather than as I demand it to be, and practicing loving-kindness even when impatience or judgment comes knocking.
Not long ago, I found myself in a painfully slow checkout line. My old self would have fumed. Instead, I paused, breathed, and thought about the woman behind the register—likely on her feet all day, doing the best she could. I left peaceful instead of poisoned. That may not sound dramatic, but it’s the kind of everyday miracle I want now.
I don’t claim to have the answers. What I have is a path that helps me live a little more honestly and love a little more freely.
Next week: I’ll share the simple practices—like breath and mindfulness—that keep me steady day to day.
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