Prefer to watch instead of read?
You can watch the video version below.
I’m a planner. My wife will definitely confirm this.
Mornings are where I feel it most, and honestly, it’s in a good way. I have a routine that I genuinely cherish. Coffee first, always. That is a non-negotiable. After that, we can talk.
Some mornings I go straight into my daily readings. Other mornings it’s a little scrolling. Wordle. Meditation. Not always in the same order, but the rhythm is steady, and it helps me feel grounded.
One of my favorite parts of the morning is that my wife and I usually have a few quiet minutes together too. We’ll chat a bit, talk about what’s ahead, and ease into the day. It’s simple, but it matters to me.
And then I shift into planner mode. I keep a running list throughout the day as things pop into my head, the stuff I don’t want to forget. In the morning, I look it over and choose a few things to move into “today.” That system is what keeps things from slipping through the cracks.
Most days, it works really well. But there’s also a down side. It can create a subtle pressure that if it’s on today’s list, then it has to be done today.
This past week, I noticed something familiar. I just started an internship, and I’m adjusting to a new schedule and daily flow. A couple of days went by where my list didn’t get done. Nothing dramatic happened. No crisis. The day simply didn’t cooperate with the plan I had in my head.
And I felt it start to rise.
Agitation. Frustration. That quiet sense that something was off.
Not because anything was actually wrong, but because reality wasn’t cooperating with my expectations.
Now, overall, I’m living with more peace than I ever have. That didn’t happen by accident. I’ve been putting a lot of effort into nurturing my mindfulness and meditation practices over the past few years, and they’ve genuinely changed how I relate to my inner life and the world around me. But growth doesn’t mean perfection.
The to do list isn’t the problem. The meaning I attach to it can be. When an unfinished list turns into a verdict, I tense up, push harder, or carry a low-grade irritation into the next day.
These days, I’m practicing something gentler.
I notice the pressure. I notice the story, “I should have gotten more done today.” And if I’m not careful, that turns into a kind of grading system. I start evaluating the whole day, the quality of it, based on how much I accomplished and how closely it matched what I set out to do.
Then I pause. One breath. Sometimes two. I remind myself that a list is meant to support my life, not measure my worth. Then I choose a response instead of falling into an old reaction. Sometimes that response is doing one small thing. Sometimes it’s letting the list be unfinished without turning it into a reason to beat myself up.
Life is going to keep interrupting my plans.
Maybe the practice is giving ourselves permission to live a real day. A day with interruptions. A day with unfinished tasks. A day where we don’t punish ourselves for being human, and we give ourselves credit for doing the best we could.
